… to the things we don’t want! Together!
I’ve met with a lot of people recently and in the past who struggle with saying ‘No’ when it’s needed. Also, this topic has been a hot one since my childhood and a lesson I still need to learn, and I have a hard time with doing so, even in my current state of life. And I’m pretty sure it’s something you’re also familiar with: when someone asks you to do something which sounds like you SHOULD do it from their mouth, but you don’t feel like it’s a fair thing from them to put it on your shoulders. However, you probably say ‘yeah, sure’, mostly because you want to avoid confrontation. And these situations can occur within your family, friends or even work environment – basically, there’s no place to be safe. But you do it anyway, since you like peace and want to keep it. The question is: does it truly worth it?
I’m not saying we shouldn’t help each other. Oh, no, no – Yes, I’m practising it! 😉 It’s just when I help someone, I want to do it purely from the heart. When I feel it would make me happy to help that person, because it makes them happy and contributing to this feeling of them is a pleasure for me. So, I strongly encourage you to help someone when it really comes from the heart! It’s that simple. However, when you’re not sure, give yourself a little time to decide whether you really want to do something. Maybe there are more meaningful things in your life you need to deal with first, or you may not have the capacity for a sudden event like this. It’s okay to politely say ‘no’, or if you FEEL like it and WANT to, just tell them you need to deal with your things – yourself – first, but as soon as finished, you’re more than happy to help.
Up there, it’s a situation when someone asks for a hand in something that can’t be done alone, they feel. However, some people simply want to put their work on your back and walk away. The recipe is simple: ‘I’m sorry, darling, but no… This was made by you, it’s your responsibility, your job! It has nothing to do with me.’, Saying it politely, of course, and then leaving them with your purest conscience – you should feel you’ve done something right and keep your peace and happy mood. There’s no need for rudeness, do not misunderstand, but for confidence and certainty.
Well, it’s easier to say than do. I mean, as for me, I know this is the way I should deal with situations and people like this, hence my time and energy are valuable and should be given to those whom I would love to do so., I know, I need to learn to value my own inner peace over keeping the peace between me and another person who may don’t care about the tranquillity within me. I need to find a balance between these two, listen to the way people react to what I’m saying and recognise when they put up walls against my words and feelings and shout with aggression behind from those walls. I want to accept these people’s feelings and wish them to learn the same. I should be the first one for me, since I cannot help others and react positively to a matter when my heart is filled with disturbing feelings accompanied by my mind with negative thoughts. It’s just not the way. I truly believe and know, I cannot be inspiring to anyone if I’m like that. No, no!
So, the lesson is given to me, to you and to all of us:
- Create and maintain inner peace within yourself!
- Say ‘YES’ when you have that pure, good, ‘YES’ feeling inside of you!
- Learn to say ‘NO’ to those things you don’t want to BUT keep your serenity!
I’m not going to lie, all of us will probably pop into unpleasant, hard situations and we may feel like ‘oh, I messed this up pretty badly’, but let’s look at them as opportunities to learn this Life Lesson of Ours!
I’m more than excited in how you guys are improving and would love to hear your stories! Let’s collect those stories under #LetsLearnToSayNo and learn from each other’s experience!
Good luck, my Dears! 🙂
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